Driving home from work late one evening a few weeks back, a bright light on the side of Camelback Mountain caught my eye.  Looking more directly, I saw the light was emanating from a “HAPPY NEW YEAR” declaration spelled out in white lights on what must have been 40 foot high letters.  Alright, so I probably don’t have the exact right dimensions, but the point is they were big.  I am certain big enough to be seen from an airplane landing at Sky Harbor.  And in all capital letters – like when someone wants to indicate shouting in an email.

It gave me a sense that the lords of the mountain were casting a decree to the mere mortals in the valley below.  “You will have a HAPPY year” is how it read to me.  Which made me think, what if everyone who saw the sign did take it as an order?  What if we all made the conscious decision to just be happy?  How different would life be if in every situation I responded like a happy person would?  I decided to experiment with that.  For 21 days, with the sign in mind, I attempted to foster my new happiness habit.  Here is what I found.

Everyone likes a good challenge. 
For starters, I once again realized that the minute you make a declaration like “I am going to be happy, no matter what!” all the forces in the universe will rise up to challenge your declaration. 

The first week of my experiment was full of nothing but naysayers, complainers, people who wanted to argue and people who were just plain rude.  It was like riding on a standing-room only transit bus packed with Yankees fans whose team just lost (again) and news media on their way to a Britney meltdown.  UGLY.  Obviously, I thought, these people didn’t see the sign.

Not one to give up so easily, I reflected with each interaction “What would a happy person do?” and smiled my way through the week.  I have to confess though, initially, my “happy person” response to the mood challengers was more smug than sincere.  Like, “Ha ha!  You didn’t suck me into your grouchiness, so I win!”  But the minute I realized that a sense of superiority (my mood is better than yours) is not really indicative of true happiness, I changed my tune. 

It took a dedicated effort to keep my mind on my goals and wins and blessings for the day, and let the other stuff just roll off.  It was worth it.  Once you find your authentic happiness, it creates a nice protective shield against anyone else’s bad mood.  The key really is in where you place your focus.

Misery loves company. 
Week two I began to notice how our attention is continually directed to things that could make us unhappy.  Pick up a newspaper, turn on the television, or listen in on your company’s quarterly financial update (unless you work for Apple)… Given that there are only 24 hours in a day and that during that time we have a limited amount of attention we can devote to any one topic, I am amazed at how much of that time we are willing to allocate to things that get us riled up-- and most of those being things we can do absolutely nothing about.  (Side note for my regular readers:  Remember my post about my LSU Tigers?  They did win that national championship after all!) 

It takes concentrated effort to not be swayed because let’s face it, drama can be so much more entertaining.  It’s far more interesting to create a conspiracy theory around why the department head happened to leave early the very same day the VP got a pink slip.  But have we really allowed ourselves to get to the point where we expect our lives to unfold like a David E. Kelly script?

It’s time to give up our “dramaddiction” and leave the creative writing to the experts and the scenes to the screen.  Our lives will be much happier when we don’t feel every day needs to be Reality TV worthy to be worthy of living.

Hey babe, what’s your sign? 
By week three I fully recognized that in every interaction in every relationship or situation, we have a choice in how we respond.  “What would a happy person do?”  It’s a split-second decision, and whatever direction you take it is how it will play out.  It really is your call.

Yes, it would be nice if everyone had a sign indicating their mood or disposition for that day or moment – you know, like the ones we use on web-based meetings, or the smile icons on instant messenger.  It would be much easier to know who we could comfortably engage with to avoid any negativity.  It would be much easier to be able to wear a sign that essentially said “Don’t bother me, I’m happy.”

What I am finding though, is that the more I play things out the way I imagine a happy person would, the more happy people and situations I seem to come across.

We do have a choice.
It takes a concerted effort to change – like any good physics equation it takes more energy to stop a moving object and then get it going in an opposite direction than to just maintain momentum moving in the existing direction.  Or something like that.  I’m obviously not a physicist, but you get the drift.  It takes some work, but it’s a worthwhile investment.

It's such a worthwhile investment that I’m extending the experiment beyond the 21 days to the full 365.  Want to join me?

Step one is just a simple choice to shift your focus to being aware of the things that make you happy.
I could give you a list of the things that make me happy: watching my cats play; discovering a tasty bottle of wine for $8 or less; a new episode of “Gossip Girl, even writing this blog.    But I don’t want to take the fun out of your experiment.  Because the more we know about what makes us happy, the more we can avoid the things that don’t.

For inspiration, I’m including a video.  For those of you whose IT Departments have (innacurately) determined that YouTube doesn’t enhance productivity and blocked your access, I’ve included the lyrics.  It’s not completely relevant, but who couldn’t use a little more pop (note: not drama) in their day?

Have a HAPPY year.  I certainly plan to!

“The Sign” by Ace of Base
I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes
I saw the sign
No one's gonna drag you up to get into the light where you belong...
But where do you belong?