I’ve been on the road this week, stretching a one-day business meeting in San Francisco into a grown-up version of Spring Break, starting with a long overdue visit to Napa Valley.

Driving into Napa there is a turn-off point where Highways 12 and 29 converge, and the road veers ever so slightly that if your eyes were closed, you wouldn’t even notice your body shifting in response.  So it’s always a welcome surprise to suddenly see the Valley laid out in front of you, like peering into one of those sugar Easter eggs we got as kids – where you look into the icing-laced opening and discover a whole different and beautiful world.  I always wanted to crawl inside those eggs when I was little, and every time I turn that curve to Napa, I feel like I am doing just that.

This visit it hit me that I have a thing for valleys.  I started recounting my favorite places to visit:  Napa Valley in California, Mission Valley in Montana, Loire Valley in France… Heck, I have even made my home in the Valley of the Sun!  Valleys are always the places that seem to bring me the strongest sense of connection and renewal and peace.

So why is it then, that when we speak of our lives in terms of peaks and valleys, valleys get such a bad rap?

Yes, I’ll give you that just like we refer to the low times in our lives, geographically speaking valleys are depressions in the earth.  But technically, there is so much more to it than that, because they are also abundant and rich sources of life.

So I think it is high time we changed our perspective.  How?  Start with gratitude.

Now don’t worry, I don’t mean this in the guilt-inspiring Catholic “be thankful for what you have because plenty others have it worse” kind of way.  Like when I was distraught that I didn’t make the cheerleading squad my sophomore year of high school and my mom consoled me with a comforting “Well, you should be thankful you have your arms and legs!” Thanks mom.  I didn’t realize that was the trade-off.

What I do mean is that changing one’s perspective through gratitude starts with an objective appreciation for whatever has transpired to bring you to where you are today – something more along the lines of Garth Brooks’ “Unanswered Prayers.”  Let me give you another example.

Valleys provide transitions in the cycle of life
When I was younger, I used to mourn the end of every friendship and relationship.  I would think about the gaping void that would be left in my life by that person’s absence, and I would reflect on how things could have perhaps been different and whether or not I could have or should have done more to hang on.  I never could decide if it was better to be the one leaving, or the one being left, because either way life went on with that noticeable void.

One day when I was wallowing in one of these voids, a friend mentioned to me that “People are in our lives for a reason, a season, or a life-time.”  And from that moment on, I have been able to look at these transitions in a different light.  So rather than mourning the loss of future possibilities, I appreciate the reasons, celebrate the seasons, and cherish the life-times.  It is a much happier way to live, observing the transitions of people in and out of your life rather than trying to keep them all close like a massing of collectibles gathering dust on a shelf.

In the same sense, the valleys in our lives serve a unique transitional purpose.  Everything in nature shows us that cycles are a requisite part of living:  the ebb and flow of the ocean tides, the four Seasons, darkness and light… the pause for renewal is part of a continuum that has sustained life for centuries.  I don’t want to bore you with too many analogies, but while I’m here I would be remiss to not also point out the benefits of valleys:  the protection from extreme weather, the abundant life provided by the rivers and streams that cut through them…you get the picture. 

Valleys provide the environment for growth
Somewhere along the way we have bought into the concept that progress is solely equivalent to climbing and conquering the next big peak, to continually moving upward and onward.  And by holding on to that limited definition of progress, we are cheating ourselves out of valuable transition times.  Sometimes our greatest growth comes out of silence.  Sometimes our most moving moments are experienced in stillness.  And if you don’t allow yourself to stop and appreciate those moments, you are cheating yourself out of a vital element of life.

What it ultimately comes down to for me is that I am a big believer in the idea that on our life paths we are given opportunities to course-correct, to redefine our purpose and passions, and to reignite our enthusiasm for just being.  And it has been my experience that it’s precisely in those times we find ourselves placed in the protective environment of one of life’s valleys.

So the next time you are between peaks, take some time to notice the people, situations, and things surrounding you that you can be grateful for during your transition, and build on those.  Rather than kicking yourself for ending up in a valley, throw down a few seeds and kick around some dirt instead.  You might be surprised at the growth that comes out of it. 

And if by some chance you find yourself in Napa Valley, well…pick me up a bottle of Pinot while you’re there.