Madonna released a new CD in April called “Hard Candy” on which she collaborates with other artists and puts out more great music to vacuum to.  That’s not a bad thing.  Maybe if my 43 year-old body looked as good as her 50 year-old one I’d still be groovin’ in the clubs, but I am just as happy having a good techno beat to dust to.  Like her or not, you have to admit she knows how to create attention-grabbing headlines and keep things interesting.

Recently, in a USA Today interview promoting her album, (read “Madonna chews on work, love, ‘Hard Candy’” here) Madonna responded to the question “As someone on the cutting edge of trends, do you think the best music gets heard?” 

“Not necessarily…Everything is about instant gratification and shorter shelf life.  Someone who’s offering subtleties won’t make an impact.  We live in a world full of distractions.”

I couldn’t agree with her more, and yet the response – coming from her – troubled me a bit.  Because isn’t she in part responsible for raising the noise level by contributing to it with her attention-grabbing antics?  The ones that started way back in the 80s with the fishnet stockings and rosary bead ensembles, continuing with her controversial “Like a Virgin” tour performance, numerous erotic music videos, “Sex” book, and the 2003 MTV kiss with Britney Spears.  Really, I could go on and on.  There are quite literally hundreds of examples.

But she has a point. 

The question “Can you hear me now?” in our technology-driven information age has a whole new meaning.  Outside of being a brilliant marketing campaign for Verizon Wireless, it is coming to be a symbol of our inability to authentically communicate and connect with each other.  Because being heard is about capturing someone’s attention long enough to get them to actually listen.  To be heard.  In this world “full of distractions” it is getting to be an art in its own right.

How far do we have to go to make an impact?

We have more venues than ever to make our point, and yet the solutions we are applying are as effective as the child tugging on his mother’s sleeve.  “Mom.  Mom.  Mom….Mom…Mom..!”   After a day of that is it any wonder we are all are ready to just check out?

Business owners struggle with finding new ways to make an impact every day.  So their PR and marketing departments put together e-marketing campaigns and newsletters to barrage our inboxes and keep their products top of mind.  They set up corporate blogs and MySpace pages, hold on-line contests and post YouTube videos all in an effort to engage their target market and stand out in the noise.  But ultimately their efforts mostly just end up contributing to the noise. 

Last week, I was speaking at a conference and noticed some people in my session busily trying to copy down notes from my slides.  Wanting them to not feel unnecessary stress about missing anything I told them I would send them the presentation if they would give me their email address.  You should have seen the panic flash in their eyes.  “I don’t SPAM.”  I had to say. 
 
Mom…Mom…Mom… It’s our email indicator, cell phone ring, text message alert, appointment reminder…. And those are just the electronic components.  The ones that we could essentially turn off if we chose to.

So in a world where capturing someone’s attention is a significant accomplishment, whispering doesn’t cut it anymore.  But at what point can we stop escalating the noise?  Because it’s getting harder and harder to hear.

CU L8R!
For us as individuals, the lack of meaningful interpersonal connections is not a healthy trend.  To be heard is in my mind one of those basic human needs – right up there with safety, shelter, plumbing and chocolate.  (My apologies to Maslow for adapting his hierarchy.) 

To have someone stop and really listen, to look you in the eyes and acknowledge and validate your presence?  Well, it is as vital to our life as breathing.  And as much fun as it is that we are able to connect electronically whenever and wherever we choose, texting is still no substitute for a face-to-face conversation.

Consider these recent headlines.  Is “Can you hear me now?” the real message being delivered?

• Tempe man with road rage shoots self 
• Teen brings gun to high school 
• City ambulance workers seek to form union 
• Shareholder lawsuit claims Yahoo derailed Microsoft bid  

I’m sure I could find countless other examples of something reaching an extreme point because we heard but neglected to listen to the early warning signs.  (Oil crises, obesity trends, depression, insomnia and divorce rates to name a few)  It doesn’t have to get to that point.

We are all so busy looking to be heard, there is no one left to listen.
Authentic communication is a two-way street and sometimes the best way to be heard is to start by listening.

The Chinese character for the verb “to listen” is made up of four parts:  ear, eyes, heart, and undivided attention.  I think following that approach can help us reduce the distractions and avoid the extremes it takes now to get our attention.  Like every good habit you’ll get better with practice.  Make an effort to take some time each day to really listen to (in priority order)

• Your inner self
• Your inner circle – family and close friends
• Your work relationships – employees, peers, customers and vendors
• Your community leaders

Not with the intention of correcting, or fixing, or helping.  Not with a mind set towards judging or blaming.  Just listen – with your ears, your eyes, and your heart.   

This focused listening is in a sense a way to reset the volume level on the noise in your life.  It will help you tune in to what is important and what matters.  It will help you notice the subtleties before they reach extremes.  It will help you know the right thing to do.

Give someone the gift of your undivided attention every day.  It’s the only way to make sure that the best music in your life…gets heard.